Know-Love-Obey God

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I opened to the page I wanted, read one line, and hit a wall. I tried starting over, but my eyes and mind could not get beyond the period of that first sentence. God’s Spirit blocked me from reading on, so I did as He guided. Okay, Lord, I’ll stay here a while. I’ll read it again, over and over.

Sanballat was very angry when he learned that we were rebuilding the wall. (Nehemiah 4:1)

Sanballat was very angry when he learned that we were rebuilding the wall.

Sanballat was very angry when he learned that we were rebuilding the wall.

Sanballat was very angry when he learned that we were rebuilding the wall.

Nehemiah and company, exiles all, suddenly receive the King’s permission to rebuild Jerusalem’s wall—not only his permission, but his resources, protection, and support. Great news! Go, go, go!

And then, Sanballat. What characterizes him?
- Jealousy.
- Desiring others’ failure.
- The opposite of “Rejoice with those who rejoice.”
- Wanting others to be kept low, so that he can remain higher.
- Blocking another’s progress.

Why? Will the wall’s restoration be to Sanballat’s harm or detriment? It just looks like anger. Plain malice. Raw spite.

A familiar heart-stab pierces as I realize:
I’ve been a Sanballat, too.
I’ve found myself upset when someone else received blessing, or experienced growth, or restored what was broken, or stood in victory.

I hadn’t seen Karla for two years. She was hardly recognizable. It was Karla, minus about thirty pounds. She looked great and very healthy.

My first reaction was the memory of the morning on my weighing scale. I had gone up, not down. Karla was successfully losing weight. I was not. I was upset. Jealous. Sanballat.

On the flip side, Jana is gaining weight during a time when I am doing well in that area. My pounds are dropping. Hers are coming on. I am happy.

The worst part: weight gain is one of the milder examples. Stacy has had a best friend since 5th grade. Dan got the job he wanted. (I applied for it, too.) Tim and Carrie’s toddler never has tantrums.

Oh, Sanballat! No more. No more. With those who rejoice, I rejoice!

Father, give me the humility of Your Son, that I may step aside and see others—that I may love others and rejoice in the blessings you lavish upon them. Let me not seek applause or acclaim for myself. I choose to rejoice with those who rejoice. I thank You for blessing those around me, and for blessing me in the seeing.

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(Originally posted May 2009. Posted again here because I am currently preparing a Nehemiah study—with a looming deadline coming up quick!)